ICE, CPB Agents Caught Exposing Selves On School Grounds

Mission Impissable: "Clock out before cock out," ~Obergruppenführer Noem reminds ICE Agents.

MAGA Operative, Kristi Noem, explains that “ICE Agents were trained on Day 1 to expose themselves at the playground on their own time.”

WASHINGTON DC — “I think we all know that President Trump loves himself a little alliteration. I mean, ‘Alligator Alcatraz.’ That one’s a classic, huh, Mr. President?” quipped Obergruppenführer Kristi Noem.

“Kristi’s doing a great job. These agents clearly crossed the line — funny when you think about it — border agents crossing the line,” mused the President. “Oberstgruppenführer Miller spoke with Kristi and I am satisfied that these agents were trained that there’s a right time and a wrong time to whip your dick out at the playground. They can do what they want on their own time.”

“I personally reminded ICE, CPB and the rest of the alphabet, it’s ‘Drain The Swamp’ not ‘Drain The Beast’”, Noem explained. “Clock Out Before Cock Out.”

“Patriotic. Punchy. We need that on a mug!” declared the President. “We workshopped a few of them. Second place was ‘From Zero Tolerance To Zero Zippers”, but it just doesn’t flow — if ya’ get my meaning.”

“Happy Codependence, I mean, Independence Day everybody!” Noem said. “America’s shooting fireworks. I’m shooting puppies. God bless America!”

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